5 TIPS FOR AN APOLOGY
An apology can go a long way in conflict. Sometimes taking responsibility for the hurt we cause can be a powerful tool in repair. However, I find that we make some very common mistakes when trying to say we are sorry. Follow these tips to improve your apology skills.
- DON’T apologize for someone’s feelings. This can start a whole new fight. It won’t feel genuine to the other person. It doesn’t say you are sorry for what you did. It says I am sorry you had feelings about what I did.
- DO apologize for your specific wrong doing. Make sure you know what you are apologizing for. It can go a long way when you can take responsibility for the specific hurt you caused someone else.
- DON’T make excuses. I am sorry but… is not an apology. It is more of a way to explain your behavior and that won’t feel soothing to the other person.
- DON’T expect an apology back. Hey, remember your only goal is to make sure the other person knows that you know you have made a mistake. If you are only apologizing to get one in return then your apology will appear to have another agenda.
- DO ask what you can do to make it better. Actively repair. An apology can go a long way but to seal the deal ask if there is anything they need.