Are you your own best friend? Do you show yourself the same compassion you would someone else? Most of us have a voice in our heads that are critical and unkind. This voice tells us to suck it up, get over it, we aren’t good enough, or are going to fail. A lot of our own self-talk is shaming and demotivates us to grow and keep trying.

Think about that goal you had to start going to the gym regularly. You join a gym at the start of the new year, get some workout clothes and plan your gym days. The day gets here and you get off work and feel tired. You drive past the gym and go straight home, eat dinner and go to bed. What is the first thing you tell yourself in response to breaking your date night with that treadmill? You probably said something like “Ugh, this is why you can’t be great” or “Why can’t you just commit to something?” or “You are never going to fit back into those jeans.” Well I bet you felt worse off.

Self-compassion is kindness versus judgment. It is replacing criticism with understanding and warmth when we are suffering, fail or feel inadequate in some way. If we responded to ourselves with the same empathy and kindness we do when we are talking to our friends who knows what the possibilities would be for courage and growth. Next time you hear that critical voice in your head replace it with a kind word.

“Today may be a day when you needed to rest rather than go to the gym.”

“You had a rough day, tomorrow give yourself the gift of another chance to keep your promises to yourself.”

“Just because you are struggling does not mean you are failing.”

Be kind. Be compassionate. Be loved.